1. |
Jenna
05:12
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She ain't a day over 11 with nails
Painted with magic marker and heels
Two sizes big, make her walk kinda funny
They call her a lizard, but she's making money
So fuck em
Wander the tarmac till some headlights beckon
A wink in the nighttime, that's romance she reckons
She never known love that didn't come from an angle
Violence and tenderness, they all get sorta tangled
Up inside her
Her daddy keeps a .410 on the table during dinner
He once let her hold it so she'd know that it ain't in her
To ever do something that he says she might regret
He says "You think that times are tough? Just wait and see how tough they get
"Without me"
And of course her dreams aren't gone
They just sorta moved along
And that's how come she's feelin left behind
And of course she's tired of this shit
But she's also used to it
Sayin "You go on, I'll catch up with you in time"
Inside a cabin with a man thrice her age
She tries concentratin on the dashboard display
An older girl once told her, never call em by their names
And if you don't look em in the eyes they'll start to look the same
After so long
Sometimes at night she dreams of fire on a lake
Awakes and sits up like a stepped-upon rake
Thinks of going home and of how long she's been gone
Then of what they'll say of all the awful shit she's done
And she lies back down
It ain't how you think it'd be, like carryin round a weight
It's more like diggin holes or like givin things away
My God, if she kept count the number'd drive her insane
She never been out dancin, but she's circlin the drain
Every evening
And of course her dreams aren't dead
They just sorta gone ahead
And that's how come she's feelin left behind
And of course she's tired of this shit
But she's also used to it
Sayin "You go on, I'll catch up with you in time"
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2. |
Daniel
04:52
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I was born in a small town on a river
And I's raised up to be an arrow in the quiver
Of my dear country, and you know it wasn't long
Until they fired me in the name of Shock and Awe
I saw the fields where we harvest all our foes
By whose bleedin the next war becomes sewn
And I asked the planters "What's that crop called?"
"That old heirloom? She goes by Shock and Awe"
I took my ride on the machine
I got off it, but it ain't off of me
I got prescriptions, and I fill em all
Every morning a dose or two of Shock and Awe
I ain't broken; but dyin for a cause,
It requires you forfeit any hope you have at all
So when you call it back home it comes leery, like a dog
Scared away by the sounds of Shock and Awe
I was hurtin for some sympathy today
So I drove out to a spot where they do things that way
And I flashed my high beams and she answered the call
And I looked upon her with eyes of Shock and Awe
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3. |
Jenna and Daniel
03:53
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"My God, you're a baby. Where are your parents? Why are you here?"
"The same reasons you are. You got a pain, I make pain disappear"
"Who taught you to say that? Who taught you to roll the waist of your shorts?"
"Look, are we gonna do this? Cause wastin time is something I can't afford
"See, if I don't count my blessings they might be gone by the time I wake up
"It's 'Baby, did you miss me?' It's 'Girl, quit your cryin, you gonna run your makeup'
"I can't complain. No, I couldn't complain if I wanted to"
"Tell me where is your home, dear. We could leave now and you could see it tonight"
"No, I can't betray him. If I'm being honest, he treats me alright"
"He taught you to say that. I'm asking you to talk for yourself"
"Yeah, he's got me fucked up. But is he any worse than anyone else?
"See, if I don't count my blessings I might forget what the fuck they look like
"It's 'Baby, did you miss me?' It's 'Girl, quit your cryin, you gonna have a long night'
"I can't complain. No, I couldn't complain if I wanted to"
"You could write em a letter. I'm gonna see they get it myself"
"Sayin what exactly? That I suck dick for money and I'm going to hell?"
"In Matthew it's written, you leave 99 to go after one"
"Yeah, that's assuming your sheep ain't a whore on the strip getting tricked
"See, if I don't count my blessings--well, anyway, I guess I oughta thank you
"Do you think they miss me? Please just don't em all the shit I'm into
"I can't complain. No, I couldn't complain if I wanted to"
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4. |
Jenna's Letter Home
03:54
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I'm lost as a raindrop fallen at sea
I'm worn as the teeth on a buried house key
I'm faint as the taste of thine own blood to thee
So please keep an eye on your memories of me
Be as devout in vigil as Mary at the cross
Or the TV you left home without turnin off
Or the wind that's holdin your banner aloft
While also frayin its ribbons apart
You will try to hold on for as long as you can
They'll be buildin new homes where the older ones stand
You'll be squintin so tightly but I won't come together
When they bulldoze the ghetto I hope it don't look any better
Some unfaded paint where a portrait had hung
Or a letter you'd written to yourself when you were young
You hate to engage with things that're gone
So don't thinkin on me feel just like starin at the sun?
You will try to hold on for as long as you can
They'll be buildin new homes where the older ones stand
I wish hearts could break in coordinated efforts
We could have a big old countdown, and let go of each other together
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5. |
Cecil
03:20
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Black damp killed my old man
It snuffed out his life and his lamp
The word ran like water through the coal camp
It was black damp
I'd take some black lung myself
Since the government pays for poor health
And the hiring guy at Wal-Mart's overrun
Gimme black lung
Black tar killed my old woman
She rotted the veins in her arms
She blew out her pupils and totaled her car
High on black tar
Now the black market's taken my daughter
A lamb being led to the slaughter
A young man just gave me a letter she signed
I guess I'll go take back what's mine
It's like a black cloud just hangs over us
It's what sealed all the gangways shut
It's what gets your kid lost and her mother strung out
That old black cloud
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6. |
Delwyn
06:47
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I knew my mama by her breathing through the walls
And I knew my papa by his footsteps in the hall
Summertime, the beetles'd come and worship on the screen
Arm against the doorjamb, I was maybe 17
Thinkin life between the welcome signs was gettin old
Pa said "Find a woman for to help you share the load"
So I had a wedding, bought a kit house and some land
Love tried takin root but proved a sapling in the sand
So I tied her on a reel and dropped her into the killin fields
The first guy I had her fuck I thought I recognized from school
She cried in the tub and asked how I could be so cruel
I thought about her tears becoming lost within the bath
I told her she was free to go, if she thought they'd take her back
Business grew, and on and on, like this for a couple years
I got me a fleet of girls to fill the tub with tears
One was this here Jenna, not a day over 11
I weened her off of schoolboys and onto antidepressants
Till one day when a ghost appeared, to take her out of the killin fields
I called her in and bid her "Won't you draw the blinds a tad?
"I was eatin dinner and found a letter from your dad
"How the fuck he find you? You been giving out your name?
"Now, don't act surprised when I say you ain't fit to remain
"I'll sneak you in a freighter--I'll slip you down the corridor
"My cousin runs a ranch off a ramp in Adwolf
"There you gonna find search parties ain't round up for whores
"There's plenty other bodies if they can't recover yours"
Then a sound near broke my ears, and nearly broke the killin fields
It was four knocks from the other side, past the motel door
As frightened and as hollow as the old particle board
I looked down at Jenna but my eyes would not be met
Knocks again, growing louder now and sounding more intent
"Pray that ain't your father or you gonna be an orphan soon"
Before I even said the word he was inside the room
He didn't even mind me, he just looked at her and ached
I thought to grab my .410 from beside my dinner plate
But I'd slowly turning gears on that day on the killin fields
She already held the chrome inside her little hands
Greasy hair behind her ears and a skinny-legged stance
He said "Jenna, don't make some mistake you can't undo"
I said "Girl, you know that you ain't got it inside you"
He said it didn't matter, all the pain that happened here
He said their home still looked the same as when she disappeared
But love is such an awful thing, it oughta be a sin
I don't think he realized the gun was aimed at him
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7. |
Jenna pt. 2
03:53
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"How came that blood on your shirt sleeve?
"Oh sister, tell me"
"Well, it is the blood of the old gray tom
"Who chased the mouse for me"
"How came that blood on your shirt sleeve?
"Oh sister, tell me"
"Well, it is the blood of the old black hound
"Who watched the door for me"
"How came that blood on your shirt sleeve?
"Oh sister, tell me"
"Well, it is the blood of my own dear pa
"Who came to rescue me"
"Well, it's what will you do now sister?
"Oh sister, tell me"
"I will be locked into yonder freight
"And carried off from thee"
"Well, it's when will you be back sister?
"Oh sister, tell me"
"When their hands don't smell like gasoline
"And that will never be"
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8. |
Jenna pt. 3
04:58
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I can see the sun through the holes in the fiberglass
And I consume exhaust till it shows me my past
Holes in walls and arms, laces missin from shoes
Yeah, you ain't surprised, but it's all I ever knew
My bloodline's lookin extra bloody these days
Cereal for dinner, that was all she could prepare
A prize at the bottom and a daughter in her hair
If we're meek enough, we'll inherit the Earth
But of course that's only after they've had their way with her first
My bloodline's lookin extra bloody these days
A funeral for mama, and a ride home with dad
Sinkin every night into an air mattress pad
Thinkin maybe I'm a bother, maybe I'm a freak
I made a friend online who I'm thinkin maybe I should meet
Your bloodline's lookin extra bloody these days
I shoulda been born in another time
Buddy Holly horn-rims, his college pin would mean he's mine
Or him in armory and on his sleeve my ribbons waving
Or a trench in Cantigny, where the thought of me is all that saves him
But ain't the memory worn, and the ribbons torn and the glasses broken?
My whole life was in front of me, that much I'll admit
Though I never stood a chance of actually catchin up to it
But anyone can tell you just how badly I tried
I guess a girl can only take so much carbon monoxide
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9. |
Daniel's Return
05:48
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How the hell could you know how a human should behave
When astronomically speakin you were just born yesterday?
And how the hell could I have felt your star growin faint?
It's just a flicker in the distance till one evening it ain't
Though a black hole on my shoulder, when I left you on the field
Fightin, we, for different causes but a similar ideal
Which was makin motherfuckers rich who can't care if we die
Burnin up (on reentry) or out (in the nebulae)
And how the hell could I have saved my outrage from decline
When biochemically speaking I am changing all the time?
And how the hell could you expect that much from anyone
When the world was in agreement you were right where you belonged?
Adderall and alcohol, Benzedrine and weed
Lookin from the outside-in on all my memories
Till I saw my pretext for its limp-dick cowardice
And the haunted imprint you left in my passenger seat
So by the point of pistol I surmised where you had gone
I overtook a freighter on I-81
I run him on the shoulder, made him open up his doors
And I stumbled cross the pallets till I found you on the floor
You got lost, honey, in a wilderness
I had hoped I wouldn't find you looking like this
I'll go back with a .45 in my hand
And I'm gonna kill him in the coldest blood I can
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10. |
Bonus Track-Pulp Love
05:13
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I could grow my mustache thick
We could hop upon a steamer ship
We could head down to El Salvador
And live among the poorest poor
And unionize banana farms
And when they scab us, take up arms
To lead the fight for workers' rights
With you is all I want from life
We could get some khaki shorts
In a Sub-Saharan airport
The Serengeti would call our names
"I need a 4-wheel drive, all-terrain
"Something poachers can't outrun
"And a box of shells and a shotgun"
Fightin fire with fire all night
With you is all I want from life
We could pray beneath the sun
As-salamu alaykum
Then get back to cuttin hay
With a scythe, that was my father's way
Your voice is a glass so fair
The mountains hold it everywhere
To stack the dry grass half as high
With you is all I want from life
We could have a war break out
And I'll go away to fight the Kraut
You'll stay home and rivet steel
And on Fridays watch the new news reel
And you'll swear you've seen me on the screen
But it can't be me who you have seen
You'd learned I'd died the day before
To look you in the eyes no more
But Western Union got it wrong!
The new word is I'm well and strong
You're goddam right, and I'm comin home
I would've ran if I hadn't flown
"Oh my God, I'm in the room"
"Tell me what it is you wanna do"
"To hold the years and watch em die
"With you is all I want from life"
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11. |
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If I was a story, you'd be my narrator
If I was a cowboy, you'd be my saddle maker
i wanna make you feel so proud
Another flannel in the crowd
If I was a body, you'd be my soul incarnate
A sailor's bicep? You'd be the old ink on it
I wanna make you feel amused
By the analogies I use
And I wanna love you, and hold your hand in mine
And skate figure eights till our hearts are intertwined
Yeah God forbid I feel something explicit
Without obscurity or ambivalence
See, I hate this protocol that keeps you apart from me
And I hate this city and its teeming arteries
I wanna found a colony on Neptune
Where all the history books start with the day I met you
And I hate these hipsters and their sleeve tattoo addictions
That can't change the fact that they all grew up in subdivisions
Yeah, just keep on like you're doing us a favor
By having a black family for your neighbors
Hey, they fucking hate you, and Father John Misty too
And they hate the walls that they always hear you through
While you impress each other quoting Wayne Coyne and Wu-Tang
And get nostalgic when the playlist hits 'New Slang'
See, I want the suburbs, where there's no subtlety to suffering
We can flatter ourselves with underachieving offspring
I want some silence and some soft frustration
A slamming-cabinet-inarticulation
And in the summers, we'll go to Edward's Isle
We'll see Green Gables, we'll see our daughter smile
And that will have to be our consolation
And consequently our culmination
Till one day I'm balding, I'm good and emasculated
I'm talking through dinner about who I would've traded
And you'll grit your teeth and say "It does not matter
"Because you ain't the motherfucking general manager"
And I'll say "That's just fine! I'm glad you feel that way"
And later that night I'll think of what I wanna say
Which is: My love for you lives on a great frontier
And it's settlin new territory each year
But your love for me just lingers by the shore
And wonders what it ever left the Old Country for
And I would die to get you off that coast
If I believed that you could love a ghost
But I'll never say that, we'll never talk about it
Until our mouths become so overcrowded
With words that never saw the light of day
They start to rot and then just pass away
And then we're tame, we're without complications
Like passion and hunger, humor and expectations
And then with nothing left to want or dread
One morning there's a corpse inside your bed
No, let's never do that, I never want that for us
Let's just be here now, and hear another chorus, like this:
If I was stranded on a desert island, and I'd never met you and I was nearly dyin
And I needed some thought--some vision of a woman
And I'd never met you (that part is real important)
I would imagine you down to each detail
Down to your laugh and eyes and taste and toenails
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12. |
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Driving on through Lebanon
With your hand inside of my hand
You and me in Galilee
Just a couple of wolves on the lam
I'm haunted by thunder in a nation asunder
All of the peace upon Him
And there's none left for us, so I must adjust
With a brick of C-4 on my skin
And you there beside me, the window that guides me
The only thing that I know
You got a brow so serene for the Mujaheddin
A shame I won't watch it grow old
We get to the station and all the elation
It drains from your face and it's gone
And I agree with you and I hand you my tissue
And say "It's braver to stay and live on"
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